What better way to find out what you’ll be learning in the H2H Playground™ than to hear our coaches give answers to some of the most common questions they’re asked by trial attorneys.
Tune in to find out…
- What should I ask in voir dire?
- How do I stop working weekends and evenings?
- How do I deal with money when it comes to my opening statement?
- How can I be more present at trial?
- How do I stop being so overwhelmed?
Grab a notebook and enjoy! These coaches are AMAZING!
❤️ Sari
Ready to enroll in the H2H Playground™? Doors are open until February 1st!
Go here now to check it out.
SPECIAL EPISODE TRANSCRIPTION
Sari de la Motte:
Well welcome everybody to a special episode from Hostage to Hero. We are in the middle of our launch for the Playground, the H2H Playground™, and I thought that you all might want to get to know some of the people you'll be working with. We are here with our coaches that coach in the H2H Playground™ because it's not all just about me, and they also do a variety of other things outside of the Playground but in H2H world that you're going to hear about today. So you're going to learn a little bit about our coaches, but you're also going to learn about some of the top questions they get inside the membership that will be helpful to you because they're going to answer them right here today on this podcast. How lucky are you? So welcome to our H2H faculty.
I'll just name them here quickly and then we'll talk about each one of them. We've got Jody Moore, who's out of California. We have Joonho Hong out of New York, and we've got Siria Gutierrez out of, I want to say Las Vegas. Nevada, I guess would be the place, but when I think of Nevada, I just think Las Vegas. And then of course Coach K, who is here with me in Oregon. All right. But he is in a different room because we do that weird stuff. Yeah. Okay. So we're going to start by learning a little bit about each coach and then we're going to field some questions.
We'll start with Jody. Jody, tell us a little bit about you and what you do in the membership.
Jody Moore:
Thank you. I'm excited to be here. I'm H2H faculty. I have been practicing law in Southern California since 1997, and I have had my own business since 1999. I'm currently in a partnership with a couple of other attorneys, and we practice primarily in the field of elder abuse and nursing home litigation and general catastrophic injury. But really 95% of my practice is elder abuse. And I found my way to H2H, actually, Sari our paths crossed many moons ago at a Take Back the Courtroom with Rick Friedman in Miami, and we've sort of kept in touch over time. And my path back to H2H and back to Sari was at the beginning of the pandemic where I leaned into the pause as per your invitation, and here I am and you haven't gotten rid of me. I'm like a barnacle on the side of the H2H boat or something.
Sari de la Motte:
H2H butt. Yeah. No, boat. and we're so glad for it. Yes.
Jody Moore:
Thank you. So you want me to go into what I do in the crew?
Sari de la Motte:
Yeah.
Jody Moore:
Okay. So I wear several hats in the crew, but my passion is sort of trial strategy. So I lead a case workshop and case round table session. Every month there's a case workshop and the next month is case round table. So we go back and forth, and that means that anyone who's in the Playground can bring a case issue and workshop it. If it's in the workshop, you'll actually get a hot seat. We work one-on-one for 15 or 20 minutes about whatever it is that you bring to the workshop. And we also sort of source the wisdom of the group. So anybody who's there, we'll chime in. In the chat feature, I'll ask them questions or they'll come online and add their insights at the end. Case round table's a little bit more of a free for all. There's no hot seat, you just show up with whatever your burning question is. And I will facilitate a discussion with other members of the group that show up for case round table.
I also do trial consult. So you can hire me to do a trial consult on either voir dire or opening, or you can combine the two over two different consults. And those are half day sessions. And we go over essentially how to create an issue-oriented voir dire in one or how to create your opening using the H2H template or the H2H method and brainstorm your cases. Hopefully, by the end of those sessions, you will leave with a workable voir dire or workable outline for your opening. And finally, I am a mindset coach, so I do mindset coaching individually. You can buy a one-off trial mindset coach if you're just gearing up for a trial and you need a little tune up to face that dragon as it were or to go into that battle. Or you can buy a coaching package and you can coach with me over a six-month period and extend it as long as that relationship is meaningful and working for both of us. And so you'll hear more about mindset, I'm sure on this call that I'm available for mindset coaching as well.
Sari de la Motte:
Fantastic. I don't know how you have time to have a regular job as a trial lawyer when you do so much at H2H, but this is, she's all in on H2H and we're all in on Jody. We love her. Jody will also be joining Joon and coming out to Portland in the fall for Trial Lab, and they will be working as consultants in future Trial Labs. If you don't know what Trial Lab is, you can go to our website and check that out. It's a week with me and three mock jurors and Jody and Joon. So we'll come back to Jody-
Kevin de la Motte:
Three mock juries.
Sari de la Motte:
Juries. Yeah, exactly.
Kevin de la Motte:
Yeah. Not just three mock jurors, three mock juries.
Sari de la Motte:
Yeah. Yes. Thank you. So let's go to... Well before we go there, I will say that Jody's hot seats, it's not sellout because you don't pay for them. You pay for your membership and then you get them. They go within an hour. People want to work with Jody. She's fantastic. And those hot seats in the Playground, for those of you wondering how that works, any hot seats that are available are available 3rd Friday of the month before the next month so that you can grab one-on-one. Not one-on-one in a group, but you get to be the one being worked with, even if you don't get a hot seat, you learn when you come. But that brings us to Joonho Hong, because he's going to talk about what he does, which does not require hot seats.
Joon, tell us first about you and then we'll hear about what you do in the membership.
Joonho:
Sure. All right. So I am Joonho Hong, aka Coach Joon, and I am a trial lawyer out here in New York. So I am senior litigation council over with the firm of Parker Wakeman and we do basically everything from the simplest car crash to the most complex med mal, products liability, and everything in between. And then we also have a huge mass department. So it's really interesting because I get to see a lot of issues that probably many attorneys would never get to see in their entire career just because of the volume in the different number of cases that we have and the variety we have. How did I find Sari. Well, the story goes, I stalked her.
Sari de la Motte:
You totally did. You and Kristi, although she says she didn't, but yeah.
Joonho:
Well, I won't deny it. I did stalk, Sari, in a non creepy way, but when Sari came out with a podcast, some of the first initial episodes where she's talking about how if the lawyer is going from CLE to CLE, watching DVD to DVD, book to book to book. I was like, is she talking to me? It was so spot on. It was me. And so ultimately it really resonated. Sari's message really resonated with me. And I knew deep down inside I was like "I want something different." And when I jumped on and really went all in with H2H, and Sari, it's basically, it was a revelation that, wait, it's not all these different strategies that are out there, it's like what Sari teaches us from mindset also the H2H method.
I was like, that is actually the key that opens the lock for any strategy. So that's why I'm like, I just fell in love with H2H and everything that is, Sari de la Motte and the whole crew. Let's see, what do I do in the H2H Playground™? So my main thing is the voir dire learning lab. I also do trial consults as well, but within the voir dire learning lab, I mean, I love voir dire. I really, really love it. I believe because it's not just voir dire. I think how we go through creating a voir dire through the H2H method, it applies to everything. Not only everything in trials, but mindset wise too.
So it's really, really awesome. And the learning lab is where we all come together. And it's not like I am saying, "Okay, here's the instructions. This is what you do." It's where we get to go and play and practice, and everybody gets to really, really try things out. And we just experiment with things. And sometimes we fall flat on our face. But that's what I love. It's like, guys, I want you to fail. Fall flat on your face and just keep doing it again, because I want us to really get used to feeling good about "failing", right?
Sari de la Motte:
Well we always say fail in the Playground before you fail in court. Right? Fail here.
Joonho:
100%. So I think that was it, right?
Sari de la Motte:
Yeah. We love our Joony as we call him.
Joonho:
Yes.
Sari de la Motte:
And now we go to Siria who we also love. Siria Gutierrez. So tell us about you.
Siria:
Thanks so much for having me. I am so excited to be here. I'm Coach Siria. I am a high performance leadership coach. I help leaders who want to help themselves with overcoming their overwork and overwhelm to avoid burnout and love the life they built. And I can tell you, I could not have done that without H2H. I am also a personal injury attorney here in Las Vegas. I'm entering my 13th year of practice. So for some of you guys, that's still not a long time. But for some of you guys like, "Oh my gosh, how did you make it that long?" I'm not sure. But I can tell you that the last couple of years, H2H has played a huge role in that. And with H2H, I have become a certified mindset coach. And so that is one of the hats I wear here in the H2H Playground™.
I do offer one-on-one coaching. We've done with Coach K. We did a mindset mastery that we did last year that was really amazing. Small group coaching. But within the membership itself, you will see me posting non verdict victory videos on Tuesdays to celebrate all those amazing wins that you have. And the other thing that I get to play around with is opening statement learning lab. It is a come on in, drop in, and we're going to write an opening statement in the next 90 minutes kind of a thing. I walk you through all parts of the nine-part template.
And the best part for me is I get you on your feet. You're going to be standing, you're going to be playing. You're not going to actually be in front of your laptop typing up all these things. You're going to have your flip chart behind you. I'm going to have my flip chart behind me and we're going to play. And then you're going to present that small portion of your opening if you want to, because you're always at choice here. And you get to have some feedback from the group instantly. People are amazed when they're like, "Wow, I can actually write an opening statement in 90 minutes." Like yeah, you can. And guess what? It's not going to be more than 30 minutes long. So it's pretty awesome. And yeah, those are all the things.
Sari de la Motte:
Except for the greatest story about Siria who thought life coaching/mindset coaching was the biggest thing ever. And now as a certified coach, because she came into our world because quite honestly, it is in a lot of other industries and a lot of other coaching modalities. There are some great other coaching ones, but really CTI is fantastic. And that is what she ended up going in as all of our coaches are. So we love her and so glad she's here. And Kevin, this guy, I guess I love him too because I'm married to him, but Kevin-
Kevin de la Motte:
I hope so.
Sari de la Motte:
...tell us a little bit about you.
Kevin de la Motte:
So I'm the lead mindset coach in the Playground, and I oversee the mindset stuff, my thing, it's my jam. I absolutely love mindset work. I have clients. I have actually full stable of clients, sounds like horses. I have a full group of clients, but then I also work within the membership and I work in the main monthly mindset call. So Sari will do her monthly call where she trains. It's a training. And then I take that concept and I bring it into mindset coaching and it's group coaching. Everybody comes in. I don't have hot seats, but I do coach. So I teach, we get into group discussion about the particular topic, and then I start picking people for coaching. And it's wonderful. It's group coaching is one of those things that it's fabulous to facilitate and it's fabulous to see the transformation in there within the group of people.
I do that once a month. And then the next thing I do is I do mindset office hours. So you can come in with any topic, anything you want to, and we will coach through it and we design at the beginning, do you want this to be a group collaborative or do you want me to coach you one-on-one and everyone turns your mics and cameras off, but it's more loosey-goosey, but it's really so that you get access to coaching from your perspective completely. And that's what I do in the membership. I love it. I get to coach all the time and I get to mentor and be a part of all these people that are learning about mindset coaching and be a part of mindset coaching, being able to be threaded through every single place, every single piece in H2H Playground™. It's fabulous.
Sari de la Motte:
That's why we require that all of our coaches have mindset training in H2H because it permeates, it goes, it happens in case workshop. It happens in case round table. It happens in opening statement lab. And by the way, all of the coaches here tend to rotate in things. So sometimes Siria will be taking the mindset hours or sometimes Joon will be in an opening statement. So you'll see them all in there. I in the membership, do a live training every month. And I also do voir dire circle where we practice the voir dire that you've created with one of our coaches. You're actually doing it and we're pretending to be jurors. And I also do presentation skills coaching where you take the opening that you created with one of our coaches and you actually deliver it with my feedback. So if you're counting, that's eight things we have every single month.
And there's oftentimes special things too, at least two things that you can do to help create the elite trial lawyer that we know that you are, but you won't get there without practice. So let's talk a little bit and show off our coaches and that they know their stuff because they so fucking do. And they've all submitted a couple of questions that they tend to get in their sessions. And so I'm going to throw out some of these questions. Anyone can answer, but I'll tell who said the question. And so we'll just talk about this. So we'll start with some of the things that Joon tends to get in voir dire lab or in his consults. And the first one I just had to laugh at is what questions should I ask in voir dire? And how do you answer that Joon?
Joonho:
My natural response is, "Well, what do you want to know?"
Sari de la Motte:
That's right. That's right.
Joonho:
And it's really interesting because what I get in response to that is they actually don't know what they want to know.
Sari de la Motte:
Isn't that the truth?
Joonho:
So they pause and they're just thinking about it. And I said, "Well, let's get clear on what we want to know then, what principle." And we work down the funnel and so on and so forth. So that's step one. Get clear on what it is that you actually want to know before trying to figure out what the question is that you should ask.
Sari de la Motte:
Right. Which I think is what's so different about the voir dire method. What different... Does anyone else have a voir dire method out there? I don't know that you could call any of the things out there voir dire methods, even if they exist. But what's so unique about us is that we know what answer we're going to so then we can design the question. So it's not about gimmicks where we're going to get them to say that thing. We hope someone holds this belief. So how do we find out if they hold this belief? Well we design the question.
But as Joon just pointed out, if you don't know what this belief is, we can't design the questions. And that's such a big aha for our members to be like, "Oh." And so they start reverse engineering it, which is so helpful. But it is absolutely true that people go, "What should I ask?" What do you want to know? It's so simple. Joon also said that a lot of the times we're working the H2H method that you get the question, "Well, wouldn't that be objected to when we come up with an answer?" So how do you answer some of that, that give us an example of something that they think might be objected to, and then what your answer is to that.
Joonho:
I mean, one of the big ones... Well, there's two. One of the big ones is whenever we do the Design Alliance, it's like, "Oh, don't know. Aren't I going to get objected to.", and look-
Sari de la Motte:
Oh, just tell people what the Design Alliance is in case we have new people listening.
Joonho:
Oh, that is... Yep. So the Design Alliance is basically where in the very beginning of the voir dire process, we're basically designing how we want the voir dire process to go with the jurors, and we enroll them in deciding how they want the process to go as well. So we're basically saying, we ask them if they're willing to have a conversation with us, and we kind of lay out the caveat saying that we can't talk about evidence and certain facts, but we're going to be talking about principles despite that, are they willing to still talk to us?
And then finally, we say, "Look, we ultimately don't have the final say. The defense attorneys, they also have a final say to decide whether or not you want to be a juror or not, or whether you get to stay here to be a juror or not. And despite all that, would you still be willing to have this conversation with us." And it's really, we're trying to give them their autonomy. And it's all goes to the whole scarf model and everything, which I won't get into that. That's going way deep. Deeper than we need to.
Sari de la Motte:
Well, jurors are hostages, we'll just put it that way. So we're trying to reverse that at the beginning. Yeah. And so the objection part is what? What do they think they're going to get objected to?
Joonho:
Well, mostly about part where it said, "Okay, so I want to know if you want to be a juror and you get to choose to be a juror." And then people are like, "Oh, the judge is going to be..." No, no, no. They don't get to choose. Or some aspect of that part of the Design Alliance or even the part where you say, well, the defense attorney, he's going to have a say in whether or not you're going to be a juror on this case. And then members of H2H are like, "I don't know if I could do that. Doesn't that throw the defense under the bus? And that could be objectional." I said, "Isn't it true though? What's objectional about it? Really what's so objectional about it? That it makes a defense look like assholes? Because they are."
Sari de la Motte:
In many cases they are.
Joonho:
In many cases-
Sari de la Motte:
Yes. And I think that's a good point is isn't it true? I was just finished a podcast a couple weeks ago where I was talking about the things that you can do to overcome some of the objections of the funnel method and the things that we're talking about. And in that podcast, I said, but don't stop trying this. Right? The defense doesn't get to make the fucking rules. We have a say too. Just because they object doesn't mean they're right. So you're absolutely right. Is it true what we're saying? Yes, it is true, that you have some say, defense has some say, and you are going to tell us your preference, and we're going to try to honor that preference. Those things are all true. They're true. Love that.
Jody, some of the questions that you got were... Well, let's go to one that is very related is you'll be doing a consult and they'll say, "Well, I don't have voir dire. So what now?" Because we know in H2H, voir dire is the cornerstone of everything we do. So now what do you say to that?
Jody Moore:
Right. Well, typically when I do a consult, they're selecting an advance whether or not we're covering voir dire or opening, but sometimes we'll get something that's limited. Like we're in federal court and I'm limited to 15 minutes. A very limited voir dire, and they're still here for a voir dire consult. And so what I believe is that when we focus and go through the H2H methods and the process for constructing of voir dire, what we learn in that process, we use throughout the whole case. And so I'll give you an example. When we start the H2H method to determine or to develop an issue-oriented voir dire, we start with a fears list. So what are our biggest fears in this case and how might they come up? And then from there, the next step in voir dire is, well, what would a juror believe that would totally mitigate that fear? Make that fear go away?
Well, those fears come up for a reason, and it's probably because they're the defenses that we've been hearing about the case the whole time. They're just like a battering ram. And so we're going to use that in opening when we start talking about the challenges section, and we're obviously going to prepare our case in a way that sort of makes it bulletproof against that defense. Well, there's no way we can really do that if we don't understand going all the way back, what is the origin story of that fear? And what is the principle that our case is really about? What is the foundational principle of our case that makes it righteous that we're going to build the story and build the evidence upon? So even if we don't have the voir dire process itself, I start in the exact same place, and then we use the information and the knowledge and the wisdom of going through the process and plug it into opening statement and figure out how the evidence is going to come in.
Sari de la Motte:
Exactly right. It's just such a great point. And I know Joon is experimenting with using the voir dire process on cross and direct exam. Of course, we'll share that all with you as we get that going back here. But it's such a great point, is that understanding what your case is about really starts with what you're afraid of. And if you have voir dire, we let the jury help us with that. But if we don't, it's still valuable to inform what we're going to do in voir dire. You also get a lot of questions on preexisting conditions and something you don't like about their client. Your clients are like, "How do I deal with that?" And that's always a situation in these cases it's preexisting, and/or my client is unlikable in some way. What's your answer to that?
Jody Moore:
Yeah. The more I do these consults, the more the theme comes up. So it is sort of a theme of blame the client for whatever reason, blame the client because they were non-compliant, blame the client because they have a preexisting health condition. Blame the client for their lifestyle choices. It could be out of control diabetes, it could be alcoholism, it could be obesity. And so these issues are coming up and it's like, how do I deal with that? And there's a couple of different ways. Superficially or I guess sort of a knee-jerk reaction could be, well, here's the funnel or here's how we're going to put it in a funnel. But I actually like to back it up a little bit again and say, what's the real fear here? Because if we don't... Like, well, my client was obese, and so therefore the jury's not going to like them.
Okay, what's the real fear here? And so oftentimes we can back it up in a way that it becomes a mindset issue. Who's actually got the mental block? Sometimes I found the mental block is coming, like the attorney that I'm working with is putting that block out there maybe more substantially or in a different way than it might be received. And so we have to do a little bit of mindset work around that first. Then if we're just talking about the actual skills, I believe there's building blocks to get to that issue. So I can throw that sort of part of a damages funnel, if you will. So what are lawsuits really about? They're about accountability. Accountability for what? Causing harm. And so how do we feel about our system being designed for accountability, causing harm? And is that system design for everyone? That's kind of where I keep coming back to, is our system designed for everyone?
And if the system's designed for everyone, then it doesn't matter that they have this preexisting condition, or we could even in some cases get to, it's designed for everyone, but it's even more important for people who are vulnerable, for people who have these conditions. And so once we really back up, how is this going to come up and how does it fit into what we're talking about in the case, we can usually work the preexisting condition or the sort of unlikeable fact into how is our system designed and is it really designed to serve everyone? And I think it's a really powerful point because it appeals. Again, it's sort of a moral principle, it appeals, conservative, liberal, young, old, and we all come in imperfect packages. We all come in packages that have preexisting conditions. We all have made imperfect choices in our life. And I think if we can frame it that way, it can take the fear out of, but my client has this black mark at some point in their life.
Sari de la Motte:
Well, and I think that's so brilliant, first of all. But it's also what the defense is saying is that we only can honor what the law requires for people who are perfect, and those people do not exist. So fantastic. Love that answer.
Siria, so because you kind of straddle both worlds, we all do, but you tend to be a lot more in the mindset world in H2H and in your own personal career, you get a question quite often, which is, how do I stop working weekends and evenings and 80 plus hours a week? How do you answer that question?
Siria:
I usually go with also a question, which I am just realizing Joon and Jody do the same thing. And I will start off with what voice is making is telling you that. What makes you think you have to do that? And then we get into a conversation on saboteurs usually, and we start really exploring and digging down, "Well, that's what the first partner I worked for would always say to me.", or, "Well, that's what it takes to be a good lawyer.", or "That's what it takes for me to manage all of these cases that I have."
And so really, it's a mindset issue. And we start going down the mindset rabbit hole and figuring out, is that voice serving me? Is that value really my value or is it something that I think I should value? And usually at that point, once we identify who the saboteur is, my clients can be like, oh, I'm not talking to that saboteur anymore. No, I'm good. This is the time that I've chosen to spend with my loved ones or with spending time with my self-care, whatever it is. It's really getting down to who's this saboteur and what are they telling you? Why are you listening to them?
Sari de la Motte:
I always love, one of my first coaches said, the way you can determine whether it's a saboteur voice or a leader voice is by tone. Normally, especially at the beginning, once you start figuring out who your saboteur is and what they sound like, they changed their voice because they're shape shifters in my mind because they're always trying to get you to not take risks, but they'll normally have a, "You should be doing this, why are you doing that?" There's this tone to it. And I thought that was so helpful to identify that voice. And I love that you pointed out that we all ask questions. That's coaches training because we have five coaches sitting here right now. And so I think that's also a difference in H2H is that we never come off as the people who have all the answers. I know the training you've been through with CTI, but also the training you've been through with me, one of the fears of all the people sitting here was, what if I don't have the answer when somebody comes into an H2H event?
And I told them, and I said, "You don't have to have the answer. And in fact, very rarely will you have the answer. Your job is to partner with the person in the hot seat, the person in the consult, and use your brilliance together, to create what you're going to create." And that's so different, I think, than in other programs or other consultants that it's top down. They have the answers, you buy their wisdom and they give it to you.
Here, of course, all of our coaches and consultants are very talented and very well trained, but/and they're going to work with you. And so that we don't want to create a dependency model where you feel like, I only ever ask my coaches and I never make a move without them. That's not what we want. We want you to feel confident after working with us, not because of working with us, if that makes any sense. I'm glad you pointed that out.
Siria, you had another thing that people... And Jody can probably jump in on this too and probably even Joon, is how do I deal with money when it comes to the opening statement, especially wrongful death. So what are some of the ways that we've handled that in the various H2H seats and classes?
Siria:
There's so many ways. One of the things I go is listen to the podcast and go listen to what's in the fundamentals course about it, because I feel like you have so much of it there. But one of the other things that I add is usually, what do you know about your client? Have you taken the time to get to know them? Have you been to their house? You're going to find those stories and you're going to figure out what that number is once you actually spend real time with your client. And that's where I go. And I know there's other points, so I will open up the floor.
Sari de la Motte:
Yeah. Jody, you particularly have taken on the wrongful death and money situation.
Jody Moore:
Yeah, I think it comes back to your podcast, your wisdom. You have to answer two questions in every case, and the second question is, how can money help? And so in a wrongful death case, the bias or the fear is, well, the person's gone, so money won't do any good. And so you really have to connect what does the money mean in the context of this case? So I mean, I've done a lot of healthcare cases and elder abuse cases, but now I've consulted on trucking accident cases and employment cases and product liability cases and premises cases. And so I'm seeing actually a much wider variety of plaintiffs. And so it takes some time, we take some time in our consult to say, what does this loss actually mean to this person? And it's not necessarily that they missed the anniversary and the birthday and walking down the aisle, although that is important, but it's really more of a heart connection.
Somehow you have to find how did this person add value just by virtue of the fact that they were living and in your life. And so that's come out in different ways with different clients, but most of the clients that I've worked with in these consults, it's, and I don't want this to come across critical, but it's sort of an afterthought. We as lawyers are so fixated on liability, that damages question comes pretty far down the verdict form. And if I don't get liability, who cares about damages? And so we spend 90% of our time excavating and working on and discovering and investigating and hiring experts and putting together our plan for evidence on liability. And by the time we actually get to damages, we're like, oh yeah. And of course the death is valuable and we move on. And so I've really been working on and emphasizing cases are about what cases are about.
And if you make 90% of your case about liability and 10% of your case is about damages, don't be surprised when your verdict comes back small because-
Sari de la Motte:
Preach.
Jody Moore:
...the attention you paid to it in your case was small. And that's true in voir dire, and it's true in opening, and it's true in the presentation of evidence, and it's true in closing. So it's a little of both. I'm piggybacking on Siria, I absolutely, they need to find the actual heart connection in their case to their client and what was lost, what value, dignity relationship was lost. But then you actually have to spend time developing it and use your trial time on that damages issue.
Sari de la Motte:
I love that because it's a dad who's not going to be able to walk their kid down the aisle is one thing, but when you make it about Joe and not just dads and how he specifically had value it changes the game. And that also reminds me of, we always talk about what you focus on, you create, which is what you're speaking to, but also when we talk about what if you're constantly focusing on the defense points, you're making a defense case. If all you're doing is being on the defensive and about their stuff, and so then you make it their case. So it's such a great point. Are we always trying to focus the case on what it really should be focused on.
Joon, is there anything you want to add there before we go to Kevin?
Joonho:
The only thing I'm going to add is that I heard this from a very wise mentor who said, money is energy. So if you don't get the money story in your own mind worked out, you have a hard time because if that's money is energy and you're doing your closing argument and you got that energy of lack or scarcity going to be conveyed to the jury. So that's the mindset piece to the whole money aspect is look, money's just energy. So figure that stuff out within yourself first.
Sari de la Motte:
And we've had a recent win, 120 million for wrongful death. It really, it's possible, but it's all because we come in with, well, wrongful death, they're not going to get money. We set the tone right there. We set the tone. So it's so true. I'm going to ping on two things before we go to Kevin, which is Coach Siria mentioned our H2H Fun-damentals™ course. You can buy that on our website right now, but why would you, when you get it in H2H Playground™. So that's another benefit of your joining the Playground. And Joon mentioned how you're going to get your money shit figured out. We've got a whole money training back there too. Also part of being in the Playground, so just going to say.
Kevin, so what are some things that your clients or people in the membership ask during your mindset events?
Kevin de la Motte:
Well, first, there's two that I've got that are really connected, but the first big one is how do I be more present in trial? And I get that a lot. And first thing I ask is, "Well, how present are you in your personal life?"
Sari de la Motte:
Oh yeah.
Kevin de la Motte:
And when I ask that question, sometimes I get they're the dad or the mom that's down on the floor with the kids and when I'm home, I'm just that's my thing. But a lot of times I get, "Oh, well, I'm always thinking about work. I'm always got this going on. Everything's rattling in my head, so it's so hard to get present." And I said, "Well, that's where you start." Start at home, start getting in deeper conversation because if you want to get in deep conversation with the juror, if you don't even know how to do it with your fucking wife, well-
Sari de la Motte:
Oh man-
Kevin de la Motte:
...there's a problem.
Sari de la Motte:
Preach. Y'all are on fire today.
Kevin de la Motte:
So that's one. And then the other big one is like, how do I stop being so overwhelmed and well, they're kind of related because if you're so overwhelmed and you're so caught up in fears and trying the other side's case you all talk about and all of that, then you are not actually going to just be present with that human being that's right in front of you. You're not going to be able to be present with this story that you want to inhabit, that you want to tell to this audience. You're going to have all that in your head. And if you're overwhelmed, well that's going to be it. You're going to be just like that. So start with getting more present with your family, with breathing, meditation, yoga, that's all that other stuff that you can add in there. But really it's starting to get more present in your personal life.
And then once you start getting more present in your personal life, you start thinking, wait a minute, what can I start cutting away at work? Because I want this more. I don't have enough of this, and it's because I have way too fucking much of that. So then we start working on that, and then next thing you know, they're starting to build the practice of the dreams. They're the life of their dreams because they're really focusing on what's most important to them and not just saying yes to every fucking thing that comes around the corner.
Sari de la Motte:
What I think is so great too about what you're saying is that this is H2H in a nutshell. People ask us a question and the question's really never the question. It's "How do we more present in court?" It's like we don't go, "Well, here's, here's the technique." Or "How to deal with money." "Here's the technique.", or "What do I ask?", "Well, here's the questions." It's what's actually going on beneath, and that is going to fix so many of the issues.
We just had a time management training because we care about your life back here, let me just say. On Tuesday. And the question that keeps coming up when I'm showing them all these things is just, how? How can I do this? How can I make this happen for me? And what Kevin and I were talking about was like, you can. If you do not have some bigger burning thing, you want this big, awesome, exciting life, of course you're not going to try to make this work because then it's just shuffling around all the shit that you don't want to do anyway. Well, I guess I could do that on Monday instead of Friday. That doesn't help. But when you have this big, juicy, awesome life, then you start really figuring out how am I going to make that happen? Because it's so present and resonant in your life. So we want you to have great lives.
Kevin de la Motte:
Well, that's putting what's most important first. So many times-
Sari de la Motte:
That's right.
Kevin de la Motte:
...you do it backwards. You got to get what really is your most important stuff, your values, your dream, and I know it might sound totally fucking woo woo, but it's the truth. If you don't know exactly what you truly want, how the fuck are you going to be able to do anything else?
Sari de la Motte:
Absolutely. I mean, I ended that training on Tuesday with a question of people go, "Well, how do I know if I'm doing it right?" Are you enjoying your life?
Kevin de la Motte:
Yeah.
Sari de la Motte:
Yes. You're doing it right. No, you're doing it wrong. Go back to the drawing board.
Kevin de la Motte:
How much do you love your life? How much do you love your practice?
Sari de la Motte:
That's right, and most-
Kevin de la Motte:
Are you loving being in trial? Are you having fun?
Sari de la Motte:
Most people listening to this would say not that much. And we want to change that. Now have having heard from all of our coaches, can you imagine getting training with these people every single month? And not only that, you get a whole community that is going to have your back. You can post questions, and these four people will come in and answer them night and day. I don't require this, by the way. They'll be on vacation and they'll be in there answering questions. Why? Because H2H is a charging station of sorts, even for our coaches. It's a place where people come to get energized and support and accountability. It's unlike anything that you have ever experienced. So not only are you going to get all the live events, which are all recorded, by the way, you're going to get this community that you can ask questions, not our day. And actual trained coaches are going to jump in and answer your questions, not to mention other H2H members. So we're going to end with-
Kevin de la Motte:
Yeah, highly skilled attorneys.
Sari de la Motte:
That's right. Highly skilled attorneys.
Siria:
Yeah. And Sari will actually answer your questions in the Facebook community.
Sari de la Motte:
Yeah, that is true.
Siria:
I just posted a fear and I did a poll in there because I have a case that's going to trial in April, and the main engagement I have is from, Sari fucking de la Motte. Like hello.
Sari de la Motte:
Love it. So I'm going to end with having well all of you say why somebody should join the Playground. Just a couple sentences on what you think somebody should join the Playground, and I won't call on you, just whoever's you're ready, you go first.
Jody Moore:
Level up, level up your life. Level up. It's time.
Sari de la Motte:
Yeah. Yeah. Level up.
Joonho:
I would just say why not? Some might say I can't afford to. What I would say is, well, you can't afford not to join.
Sari de la Motte:
That's right. That's right.
Joonho:
So if you want to change your life, here we are.
Sari de la Motte:
Yep. Yep.
Siria:
I will say that lawyering is a skillset, not an identity, and you can learn how to actually do that in our membership.
Sari de la Motte:
And form your actual identity outside of trial. Lawyering so important.
Kevin de la Motte:
Yeah. And the biggest one is when people say, "Well, I can't do that. I don't have enough time." Well, you know what? You getting coaching, you getting this training within here, you getting this community all kinds of fucking time is going to open up for you. It's necessity to come here if you don't feel like you have enough time, because you're going to find all kinds of time in this community.
Sari de la Motte:
That's right. That's right. Because so much of your problems are going to be solved with this and you won't just be spending as much time on the research and the focus groups and all the things, because you'll have so much of that here. If you want to register, go to sariswears.com/play. Play for the Playground. You can register now. We are only open for a couple more days, and then we don't open again until September. So come in and play with us. We want you to play. We have a lot of fun back there, in addition to learning a bunch of great shit.
Well, thank you to all of our H2H faculty for being here today. They're also ready and wanting to welcome you into the Playground. You can start right away. So join and we'll be here for you. All right. Thank you everybody. Thanks for being here.
Kevin de la Motte:
Thank you.
Joonho:
Thank you.
Sari de la Motte:
Bye thank you.
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