FHTH Encore - Why You Need to Use the Coffee Rule in Voir Dire

I'll be blunt—spewing words like "subsequent,” "prior," "motor vehicles,” or phrases like "Who here has experience with…,” “By a show of hands..." makes my head fucking hurt. You sound like a FREAK, and it's got to stop! WHO are you talking to? If you are wanting to connect with jurors, you've got to cut the bullshit lawyer-speak and remember how to talk like a normal person—like you're having coffee with a friend.

Here at H2H, I teach the coffee rule: be a human, not an attorney robot. You want the jury nodding, not scratching their heads.

This encore episode is a rapid kick in the ass. Short, sweet, and straight up.

-Sari

"Nobody drives 'vehicles.' If you're sitting at a coffee date looking at someone across from them and you're like, 'So, did you have to take your vehicle to get maintenance last week?' Slap yourself across the face because that is ridiculous. Nobody talks like that. Nobody. Jurors don't."
sari de la motte

encore episode transcription

Hello darlings. Welcome to another episode of From Hostage to Hero. This one's going to be a quick one, just like the review I'm going to read to you, which is by William N. Five Stars. He says "A must read." That's what he titles it. And then underneath, "A must read." Well, William, thanks. I'll take it. A must read. We are growing in reviews, my people. We're still the highest reviewed book ever and we want to continue to be that. So get your reviews in. Does it make any difference that it helps me be happy? If so, please do it and go ahead and do one for the podcast too. All right, today we're talking about one of my favorite things ever, which is the coffee rule when it comes to voir dire.

What is the coffee rule and why do you need to use it?

Well, here is the basic gist. Something happens to you all when you get up in front of a jury. I think it happened to you when you were in law school. I think that's actually when it happened, but somehow you got into this weird place of talking like no one talks at all, meaning you are suddenly using words that nobody uses, at least jurors don't. And it just creates this awkward, stunted situation. Somebody just posted on Facebook today that I'm friends with a lawyer, and he said, "Lawyers use the words subsequent and prior, more than any other profession. I'm convinced of this. Just say before and after. It isn't difficult." And so I posted and I said, "As well as they used to drive cars before going to law school, and now apparently y'all drive motor vehicles." It's true. You start talking like some alien, and what I want to suggest is that you stop for a few reasons.

The biggest one is that you have an advantage over the defense because the defense is formal.

Just look at how they dress. They come in, there's normally more of them than you three or four or five, representing the corporate interests. They're all in black suits, right? They're super serious. They do all the bad voir dire, which you are learning not to do. So when you show up as a normal human being that resembles the jurors instead of an attorney, this is going to be in your favor, right? You want to be like them, not like an attorney.

So we want you to talk like a normal person.

I mean, just in the last podcast I talked about this concept of experiential questions, and even the way you ask them, "Who here has experience with," you would never say that at coffee, which brings us to the coffee rule.

If you wouldn't talk to someone that you love or are dating or just friends with or just met at coffee, you do not get to say it in voir dire. This is a rule in the H2H community. If you wouldn't say it at coffee, you don't get to say it here.

For example, if you're sitting across from someone having coffee and you're wondering if they ever visited the Hilton in Maui, you wouldn't say, "Do you have any experience with the Hilton at Maui? Who here has experience with the Hilton and Maui?" Nobody talks like that. You say, "Have you been to the Hilton and Maui? How was it? Is it good? Do they have room service? How are the beds?" You'd talk like a normal person. Here's some other ones. "By a show of hands." What the heck? Who says that? "By a show of hands who here has experience with?" There's a way you can double it.

Nobody does that. Now, this doesn't quite fit under the coffee rule because normally you wouldn't be having coffee with, well, maybe you would be having coffee with a bunch of people. There's a bunch of friends. Okay, yes, this totally does apply. I take it back. So you're sitting with a bunch of your friends and you're wondering which one of them is playing Wordle, which apparently is this new word thing that I have no idea what it is. Even though I'm a Scrabble and enthusiast, but Wordle.

So you wouldn't say "By a show of hands who here is participating in the game Wordle?" No. You'd be like, "All right, who's watching Wordle"? And if there's a ton of people, you might just raise your hand as you're saying it. That's what we teach you to do in H2H.

You don't have to say, "By a show of hands or by raising your hand or raise your hand, please." You just raise your fucking hand and people will model it back to you. Okay?

Vehicle. Nobody drives vehicles. Again, coffee rule. If you're sitting at coffee looking at someone across from them and you're like, "So did you have to take your vehicle and to get maintenance last week?" Slap yourself across the face because that is ridiculous. Nobody talks like that. Nobody. Jurors don't. Where did you get this whole motor vehicle bullshit? It's just, nobody talks like that. So stop. Again, if you wouldn't say it at coffee. Automobile, same thing. You don't get to say automobile.

Listen, stop being so formal. That is not what is needed in voir dire. In voir dire you're just having a conversation. You've heard me talk about it should it feel like a dinner party?

Why am I using all of these terms from your everyday life? Because that's where jurors come from everyday life.

So that you want this to be as comfortable as possible for them so that they will talk to you. The more formal you make it, the more you use terms that they don't understand or never use in their ordinary lives, the more you put a wall between you and them. Let the defense do that. You show up as a normal human being. This is why I think you should dress not casually, but not so straight laced crazy that it just makes it feel like you are so different than them. Be professional. Take it seriously. You are there for a serious reason, but not so seriously that you're not one of them. Talk like them. The defense won't. So you need to. So that's the coffee rule in a nutshell.

Shortest podcast ever. But it's a short concept, and I picked a short review to read as well. Just ask yourself, "Would I say this at coffee?" And if you would, and it's still too formal, stop doing that shit. But in most cases you'd answer, "No, I wouldn't." Well, then you don't get to say it in voir dire either. Love you, my friends, talk next week.

This is a great time to dig a little deeper and make sure my revolutionary H2H method before I come back in January with all new episodes. Join the thousands of others who are seeing transformation in how they practice law. Get started with my free training, 3 Powerful Strategies to Help You Read a Juror's Mind by going to sariswears.com/jury.

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