The Power of Belief for Winning Trial Attorneys

Jurors won’t follow a lawyer who second-guesses.

If dread runs your prep… it’s running your case.

Break the cycle before it breaks your case.

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Love,
Sari ?

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“We’re addicted to the belief that if we tell ourselves we’re good as-is—if we celebrate our victories or dare to truly love ourselves—then we’ll get lazy and miss something important. Nothing could be further from the truth. Here at H2H we believe you are perfect exactly as you are, that you should celebrate your awesomeness all the time, and that you are naturally creative, resourceful, and whole. Loving yourself and creating an awesome life makes you want to jump out of bed in the morning and do epic stuff.”
sari de la motte

ENCORE EPISODE TRANSCRIPTION

Well, welcome, everyone, to another episode of From Hostage to Hero. Sari de la Motte with you today, the attorney whisperer. I am so excited because a couple of weeks ago we opened the Crew for just three days (one of our short opens), and we had one of the biggest openings ever in the history of the Crew. We welcomed so many new crewbies, and I’m so glad that you are here if you are in the H2H community. I’m glad you’re here even if you’re not in the H2H community.

What I love is that once people join the Crew, they post videos in the private member group. So many of you have said in your videos how you came to the book, which then brought you to the podcast, and how we “walk together” in the mornings with me in your ear while you walk your dogs, walk alone, or drive somewhere. I just love that. I love that we can be together even though we’re not physically together. I see that as an honor, to be in your ear in the mornings on your walk, and I’m so glad I can be that for you. So welcome, Crewbie, to the H2H Crew. If you want to join, we reopen again in April.

We’re going to start with a reader shout-out. This is from the Trial Guides website by Patrick C. He gives a five-star review titled “A must-read.” He says, “The concept is simple: jurors are hostages. How do we set them free? Sari walks you through that process, and it’s a wonderful journey.” Well, thank you, Patrick, for your review. If you haven’t reviewed the podcast or the book yet, you can do so wherever you listen to your podcasts, or go to TrialGuides.com to review the book there. I thank you in advance.

Today we’re talking about the power of belief because something weird has been happening for years as I work with my clients. They’ve almost all said the same thing when I say something to them, and today I want to pull this apart, hopefully to inspire you to stop doing this. When I’m working up a case with a client, I’ll say something like, “Oh man, this is a good case,” and in every single instance my client will say, “Don’t say that. Don’t say it’s a good case!” A look of horror comes over their face.

I find this fascinating. It’s like a superstitious thing. Of course, you know how I love to look up what words mean, so I looked up superstitious. The definition is “a belief or way of behaving based on a fear of the unknown.” There’s this fear that when you say, or even believe, your case is good, somehow you’ll jinx it. I want to talk about that today, why it happens, and how it doesn’t serve you.

When we talk about “jinxing” ourselves by believing our case is great, it comes down to not wanting to be surprised or taken off-guard. A week ago today I had my last formal cancer treatment. I’ll still have to do a bone infusion thing to make sure it doesn’t come back in my bones for another two years, but my active treatment ended a week ago. That’s something I’m grateful for, though it’s also frightening. For that whole year, I felt “protected” from cancer growing because I was in treatment, and now I’m not. I’ve noticed myself saying, “And now we wait.” How interesting. It’s like I’ll sit and wait for cancer to come back so it won’t surprise me. I think you’re doing the same when I tell you a case is good. You reject that idea so you won’t be shocked if it doesn’t turn out well.

Another belief underneath is, “If I think my case is good, I’ll get lazy.” Let’s talk about that. I saw a meme this morning, attributed to Leo Tolstoy (though who knows if he said it). The quote: “An arrogant person considers himself perfect. This is the chief harm of arrogance. It interferes with life’s main task: becoming a better person.” Sounds good, right? Don’t be arrogant. Be humble, because no one’s perfect. But what that meme really says underneath is, “You’re broken. You must constantly improve. Don’t go thinking you’re awesome now.”

We’re addicted to the belief that if we tell ourselves we’re good as-is—if we celebrate victories or love ourselves—then we’ll get lazy and miss something. Underneath your refusal to say, “Yes, my case is great,” is the fear you’ll slack off if you believe it. Nothing could be further from the truth.

Here at H2H we believe you’re perfect as-is, that you should celebrate your awesomeness all the time, and that you are naturally creative, resourceful, and whole.

Somehow we’ve decided we’d be lazy if we declared ourselves perfect right now. But loving yourself and creating an awesome life makes you want to jump out of bed and do epic stuff. The same is true of believing in your case.

Another step might be to go ahead, just once, and feel what it would feel like to lose the case. Let it wash over you. Otherwise, it gets stuck. But after that, embrace belief, because your number-one job is to point jurors to the right thing to do, and the fuel for that is excitement about the journey. Jurors won’t get excited if you’re not excited. You set the tone. You cannot be scared out of your mind and expect jurors to feel enthusiasm.

Let’s name what’s going on: you are feeling bad now just in case you feel bad later. Making sense? It doesn’t to me either.

There is power in belief. And yes, there’s power in experiencing the fear once, but then you’ve got to switch to belief.

A recent client proved this. Instead of spending four hours the night before a deposition in fear-based prep, he trusted his preparation, relaxed, and watched Netflix. The next day’s deposition went great because he was excited, rested, and present. Over-preparing from fear keeps you in your head and you miss what’s happening right in front of you.

We must give up the idea that fear is a great motivator. It isn’t. Research backs that up. Fear won’t get you on a treadmill or standing tall in trial.

What will? Love and belief.

So, the cancer may come back. And if it does, I’ll feel bad. I can handle that. I’m not going to feel bad now waiting for it. And you don’t need to feel bad now waiting for trial.

Believe your case is great—especially because most of your cases are great. You stand on the side of the right. There is power in belief.

I’ll talk to you next week.