May 2, 2025

“You get to decide what “ready” means.”

– Sari de la Motte

Podcast Transcript

Well, hello. Welcome to another episode of From Hostage to Hero. Sari de la Motte with you, the attorney whisperer.

We’re going to start with a listener shout-out, and this one is titled simply “Attorney.” It says, “Consistently good, easy-to-digest, quality information delivered in an informative way that keeps your interest. Must-listen material. Thanks, Sari.” Well, thank you for your review! If you haven’t reviewed the podcast yet, please do so wherever you listen. We so appreciate it.

Today, we’re talking about the fact that “ready is a decision, not a feeling.” Before I dive in, I want to remind you that the H2H Crew is open—or will be open, depending on when this episode airs. Whether you’re hearing this during the launch or just before, you’ll want to get into the H2H Crew. Go to fromhostagetohero.com and sign up for the waitlist or, if enrollment is open, join the Crew. We open only four times a year, and you definitely want in. Thank you.

All right, I posted a quote in the From Hostage to Hero Facebook group a while back—if you’re not in that group, simply search “From Hostage to Hero” on Facebook. It’s private, so you’ll answer three questions, but it’s free. I posted a meme that says,

“If you wait until you are ready, it is almost certainly too late.”

I want to explore why that is, and then we’ll tackle the concept that “ready is a decision, not a feeling.”

The great trial lawyer Christian Morris posted that quote—“Ready is a decision, not a feeling”—and I thought, “I’m so podcasting on that.” So thank you, Christian. First, why is it almost certainly too late if you wait until you’re ready? I have three reasons, of course.

First—and I think this is the most important—“ready” isn’t definable, at least not the way you’re approaching it.

You’re treating readiness as a feeling instead of something you decide. The problem is that, for most of us, we never get to a place where we feel ready. It’s like being 100 percent prepared: nobody in the history of humankind has ever been 100 percent prepared for anything, especially trial lawyers preparing for trial. I’ve never heard anyone say, “I feel 100 percent prepared.” It’s not possible—so feeling 100 percent ready is also impossible.

Second, opportunities don’t wait. They don’t pause until you feel ready. You must seize the opportunity in front of you right now—whether that’s the case you’re trying, the cross-examination you’re conducting, whatever it may be. Those moments don’t wait.

Third, if you don’t seize an opportunity, someone else will. When you wait for this unattainable feeling of readiness, not only do opportunities pass you by, but other people will jump in and claim them. That’s why it’s almost certainly too late if you wait until you’re ready. Remember: “Ready is a decision, not a feeling.”

Ask a hundred lawyers what it means to be ready or prepared and you’ll get a hundred different answers. Who decides when you are ready? You do—only you.

People often ask, “How do I know I’m ready to get married?” or “How do I know I’m ready to have children?” If I had waited until I felt ready to have a child, I would never have had one. The same with getting married. Everything in life carries risk, including the risk of not knowing how things will turn out. That uncertainty is the human condition, but we pretend that if we wait long enough, certainty will show up and we’ll feel ready. That’s the big lie.

Now, I do believe in gut feelings, but even those aren’t 100 percent. For me— and I’ve shared this before—my intuition speaks in a particular way. Part of me thinks, If I hear myself saying that… Now my husband listens for it too. When I’m struggling with a decision, he’ll ask, “Is there a part of you in there? What does that part think?” It’s part of me, not all of me. That’s enough to move forward, and that’s what I’m offering you today: decide what “ready” means instead of waiting to feel it.

Maybe you decide readiness is a certain feeling—but define that feeling. Don’t leave it nebulous, waiting for it to wash over you with 100 percent certainty. That rarely—if ever—happens.

So throw out the idea that you have to feel a certain way and instead set clear parameters.

For example, I create a 90-minute training every month for the H2H Crew. Often it’s on material I’ve just read about—something I know the Crew will love. I don’t necessarily have total familiarity. I schedule four hours: two to outline my ideas and notes (I never present from a script), and two to prepare any handouts or PowerPoints and send them to Kristy to make them beautiful. That’s it. When those four hours are over, I decide I’m ready. Notice I don’t decide based on a feeling. I don’t ask whether I covered the information enough. I decide: after four hours, I am ready.

Are there trainings I feel more comfortable presenting than others? Sure. But I go in knowing that. I used to give myself two full days to prepare a 90-minute keynote until my coach asked, “What the hell are you doing? You don’t need that much time.” Constraining myself to four hours made me efficient and effective.

When you say, “I’ll work on this until I feel ready,” you’ll work yourself to death. But if you give yourself parameters—“I’ll spend four hours on this deposition” or “I’ll spend two weeks preparing for trial”—you focus fast. Just like constraining yourself to a 40-hour workweek: when you declare it, you figure out what truly matters.
And here’s the thing: when you decide readiness by time constraints, you see what you shouldn’t be doing. Answering discovery? Hire that out. Writing briefs, taking depositions—maybe those aren’t in your zone of genius. Why are you doing them? Stop it. When you believe readiness means your eyes must be on every document, you drown.

Nick Rowley can fly in with eight hours of prep, deliver an opening, and win because he focuses on what he’s good at. There’s nothing magic about Nick except that he’s really good at being Nick. You need to get really good at being you. Recognize you don’t have to do it all. You get to decide what ready means—and then hold yourself to it.

The cool part: once you consistently place those constraints on yourself—four hours for a deposition, say—and you keep proving it works, the feeling of readiness comes. I’m going to do a whole podcast on how evidence comes later, but here’s a preview. We want the feeling first, yet if you step out on faith and decide you’re ready, and you repeat it, the feeling follows.

I now feel ready every time I prep a training because I’ve proven to myself that four hours is enough. You must step out in faith first. Do it consistently and you’ll get the confidence you want because you’ll have shown yourself it can be done.
Ready is a decision. Decide: “After I’ve done X, I’m ready”—from a decision standpoint, not a feeling standpoint. The feeling comes later. I hope that’s helpful, my friends. Bye-bye.