Sari Swears Podcast: It's My Canciversary!

Today marks five years since the day I learned there was no more cancer in my body.

It's a milestone that means more to me than I can put into words.

In this week's podcast episode, I'm sharing the full story—from the diagnosis that changed everything, to the moments I was certain I couldn't do it, to the people who carried me through when I couldn't carry myself.

It's a story about hope, gratitude, and what it means to keep going when you don't know how the story ends.

If you've ever walked through a hard season—or loved someone who has—I hope you'll listen. 💖

Love,
Sari

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"There were many times during treatment when I would look at Kevin and say, 'Tell me how it goes.' I needed him to tell me the story of a future I couldn't see for myself. And every time, he would paint a picture of survival, healing, and getting our life back."
sari de la motte

Transcription

Sari de la Motte:

Well, welcome everyone to another episode of Sari Swear. Sari de la Motte here with you today for a very special episode, because it is my cancerversary y'all, and this is a big deal, and I'm going to tell you why it's such a big deal. It's always a big deal every even day that a cancer survivor lives beyond their diagnosis, but today in particular is very, very important, and I'm going to share with you why in today's episode. So it's been a while since we've talked about my cancer. I bring it up from time to time, but if you're new to the show, you are going to get all things cancer today, and a little bit of my journey and why today is so important.

So I'm going to take you back to 2020. Remember that horrid, awful year? Yes, it was totally horrible, but we were quarantined like everybody was. It was June I believe of quarantine, maybe late in May, and this is back when we were thinking quarantine was going to be six weeks long and then we'd all be done. Not the case. And for the last several weeks, I would walk in on my husband, Kevin, laying on the couch sighing very dramatically, looking at the ceiling, and I'd say, "What's wrong, honey?" And he's like, "Well, there's just this house at the beach for sale. It's just perfect."

Now, you have to know that Kevin and I have always wanted to own a beach house. In fact, we would rent a place out at the Oregon Coast for years, several times a year, and not the same house, different houses. And we would walk up and down the coastline and we'd say, "One day, we're going to have a beach house. One day, one day, one day." In fact, Kevin even bought me this little ... It's glass, I guess, a big conch shell, and he said, "This is for our beach house when we get it," and he bought it for me years and years before. And so he shows me this picture of this house and it's fantastic, and I say, "We're not going to buy a beach house. This is crazy. Are you crazy?"

It was May because now it's Memorial Day, actual Memorial Day, and he's bored and he's like, "Let's just take a drive out to the coast and let's just see if somebody can show us the house, just for fun because we're so bored." And I agree, so we take the little over two hour drive, or little under two hour drive out to Lincoln City, Oregon, and we drive up to the house, and this all has something to do with cancer. I'll tell you in a minute why, but we drive to the house and I say, "Oh my God." And Kevin says, "What?"

And I said, "Do you remember 10 weeks after Elina was born, we rented that little beach house across the little greenery here?" And he said, "Yeah." And I said, "Remember they were building a house when we rented that?" And I pointed to the house and said, "One day, I would love to own a house just like this one." And he said, "Yeah." And I said, "This is the house. This is the house that I was pointing at." He said, "Shut up." I'm like, "You shut up." And then he said, "You shut up." And I said, "You shut up." And then that went on for a while and we finally went in because the realtor was there.

And so long story long, we drive home, we pull over to the side of the road, call our mortgage gal, who was at a barbecue, bless her soul, had her write up an offer, and lo and behold, we now own this beach house. Well, as we continued to go into summer, it became more and more apparent that we were not going to get out of this quarantine anytime soon, and my daughter was starting kindergarten online. Kindergarten, online y'all. And so we were tired of the house we were living in, so we decided we were going to sell the house and we would move to the beach until this whole thing was over, because with the way we bought the beach house, it used to be a rental, it came with everything. It came with all the furnishings, all of the dishware, all the sheets, everything. It came fully stocked.

So we pretty much sold off all of our stuff, put the rest of it in a pod, those storage pods, and moved to the beach. In fact, there was a shed behind the beach house that we ended up turning into an office that we could actually work out of, and so that's what we did. We were out at the beach and it was summer of 2020, and for years, my assistant had said, "You should take what you do and create an online membership." And I said, "There's no way that I can do what I do online." But now we were three, what, four months into this terrible COVID situation and I thought, "I should probably figure out how I'm going to make money when I can't see clients in person," because that's all I used to do before now.

And so the H2H crew was born in July of 2020. We had our first ever launch. We had 163, I believe ... No, we had 63 founding members in our first launch, which was an incredible amount of people to sign up to learn with me every year. Now this summer will be six years of the H2H crew, and if you were a part of this way back in the day, you remember that shed because it didn't have a bathroom and I used to have to say, "Okay, hold on everybody. I'll be right back." And it would be raining like crazy and I'd have to put on my jacket, run to the house, go to the bathroom, put on my jacket, come back to the shed and finish teaching to my crew.

All of a sudden, we were out at the beach, we'd just launched the crew, it was going fantastic, and I remember reading all of those stories about how women were delaying their gynecological appointments and their mammograms for six months or so because of COVID, and I had done the exact same thing. I was expecting to have it, I think it was supposed to be in May of that year, but now it was in December and I finally got in to see my doctor.

We drove in from the coast to see my gynecologist, and he's doing my exam and he says, "Hey, have you noticed this?" And I said, "Notice what? What are you talking about?" And he says, "Here," and he takes my hand over his hand and he pushes on my right breast, and he says, "This lump here." And I said, "No." And he says, "It's quite large. Let's see, your mammogram was what, a year and a half ago," because you normally get them every year, but I delayed because of COVID. I said, "Yeah." And he said, "This is too big to be anything but a cyst. Nothing would grow that fast, but out of an abundance of caution, you should go and get a mammogram now."

And he was trying to temper, I'm assuming, his alarm, but I was like, "Well, shit, right around the holidays." So I went in and I got a mammogram, and you know when they have you ... Well, if you're a man, you don't know this, but they have you go back in the room and say, "Don't get dressed yet until we give you the go ahead. They're just going to take a quick peek." So I'm sitting there and they said, "Actually, we need to have you come back," and that's when I knew it was bad. This was on December 30th. I remember my appointment was on the 20th, so it had been 10 days. I'd had the whole holiday thing and now I'm having my mammogram.

So I go back and I'm waiting on the table after they do the second mammogram, and they say, "We'd like to do a biopsy. We can do it now or we can schedule it in a few days." I said, "Jesus Christ, do it now. I'm not going to wait anymore. Let's get it done." And I remember the radiologist coming in, and I was sitting there and she came in and I asked for Kevin, who was out in the waiting area, and they said no because it was COVID time. And I said, "This is bad, isn't it?" And she looks at me and she says, "Yes."

And so they took a biopsy that day and they took one of the nodes that was large, enlarged in my armpit area, and they sent us on our way, and of course, I am freaking out. The next day, December 31st, the last day of 2020, so the last horrid day, we get the call that I do have cancer, breast cancer. They don't know what type yet, and that it has spread to at least one node if not more, so that made it stage three off the bat, and that started my journey into cancer.

Now, at that point, we didn't know. It could be stage four. Stage three cancer means it has gone beyond the original area. Stage four means that it has gone to the brain, lungs, liver, bones. So at that point, we did not know if it was stage four. We just knew it was at least stage three. And so later, a few days later, I would come to learn that I had HER2 breast cancer, and HER2 breast cancer, basically 10 years ago, maybe 15 years ago was a death sentence. It was highly aggressive. In fact, when they found my, I was going to say cyst, my tumor, it was four centimeters, and by the time I sat in the chemo chair three weeks later, it was 10 centimeters, so it had grown very, very quickly. It was a very aggressive cancer.

And so I did have that PET scan to find out if it was stage four, and luckily, it was not, but they did find that I also had thyroid cancer, totally unrelated to breast cancer, just a bonus cancer, just a tag on for a good time. So I had breast cancer and thyroid cancer, and thyroid cancer thankfully is very slow growing, so the first thing that they were going to attack was breast cancer. And I remember saying to my oncologist, "Why are we not doing surgery first? Let's just carve this thing out." And he said, "No, no, no. We're not so worried about the tumor. We're worried about all the floating particles from the tumor attaching to brain, bones, liver, lungs, and so we want to get chemo right away," so I was in that chemo chair three weeks later. Now, thankfully, in my second treatment, they couldn't feel the tumor anymore, so that meant they weren't sure, but it was a very good sign that the tumor was working.

Now, what my oncologist said to me, besides saying ... I don't think he said that HER2 was a death sentence, but basically, you go on the internet and you look it all up, which you probably shouldn't do, but of course you do. And because of these wonder drugs, Herceptin and PERJETA, that is why women now survive HER2 breast cancer, like the type I had. In fact, there's four types of breast cancer. There is triple negative, which means it's not estrogen based, it's not progesterone based and it's not HER2 based. They don't know what it's based on, which makes it the worst kind that you can get because there's nothing to target.

Okay, okay, I get it. Y'all have been asking for more voir dire, so I added another masterclass in June. This is your final chance to join me for an in person training and on the spot consulting on the very thing I wrote the book on. It all happens June 17th and 18th in my Portland mock courtroom. Register now because there are only a few seats left. Go to sariswears.com/voir-dire V-O-I-R-D-I-R-E, to sign up. You stand on the side of the right. Now let's make sure the jury knows that too.

Then there's HER2 PRER negative. That's the kind I had, so I had one click up from the worst kind. Then there's triple positive, which is you're positive for all the things, and then there's HER2 negative ERPR positive, which is the best kind. So I had the third best or the one click up from the worst that you could have, but thank goodness for Herceptin and PERJETA or I would not have survived. That is for sure a reality.

Now, what my oncologist did say, two things we were looking for. One is that if they did the surgery after my six rounds of chemo and the tumor bed was completely clear of cancer, and all the nodes that they took out - they ended up taking out nine - were completely clear of cancer, that was considered a pathological complete response, and that meant that my cancer had a less than 10% chance of ever returning. When we did my surgery on June 11th, that's why I picked that as your cancerversary. You can pick whatever you want, the day you were diagnosed, the day you're done with all of your treatment. I picked June 11th because that is the day that we found out there was no more cancer in my body.

I did get a pathological complete response, so that was the first good news that we got six months into my cancer journey, and so that was good, less than 10% of it ever coming back. But the second thing my oncologist told me that day in his office, the first day that we met my oncologist, is that my type of breast cancer, my very, very aggressive breast cancer, if it were to come back, it most likely would come back in the first five years, which is why today's episode is so damn important and amazing, because today, y'all, is five years from the day of my surgery. And I'm sorry I'm getting emotional, but that five years that's been one of the longest five years that I've had in my life. And so I wanted to share that with all of you, that we made it.

And I say we because after six rounds of very intense chemo, oh my goodness, and I didn't take off work from all that time, which is crazy, and a grueling eight-hour surgery. Why eight hours you ask? Because I didn't want to do reconstruction so I don't have breasts, which is a little bit sad, but I thought, "They had a good run," and I didn't want to have any more surgeries. And I said, "So since I'm not having reconstruction, can you take out my thyroid at the same time?" And they said, "Sure. It'll be a really long surgery." And I said, "Well, it's all the same to me, right? I don't know. I'm out." And so after an eight-hour surgery and five weeks of radiation five days a week for five weeks, and immunotherapy for a full year, that's Herceptin and PERJETA, I am now pretty much, there's never a total total, but pretty much completely out of the woods. This was the last hurdle that I had to overcome. After getting my PCR, the next weight was can I make it to five years without a recurrence, and thank God I made it.

Now, with all of that said, I said we made it because there are so many people that I have to thank along the way in this cancer journey. And so of course, the first person that I have to thank is my husband. He completely 100% took care of me during that time. We had a five-year-old, y'all, and we had a business that was growing leaps and bounds. It really started to take off. I was doing pretty well, but it really started taking off in 2020 with the COVID lockdown and with the membership. So we had this growing business, a wife with cancer and a five-year-old. And during my surgeries, you come home with these drains and they have to be emptied twice a day, and it's gross and they're sticking out of my body. And I had to sleep almost sitting all the way up, and the man was emptying the drains, he was making everything work. I would be vomiting, shitting my pants on the regular, and the man would clean it up. He was an absolute saint, and thank you my love. Thank you, thank you, thank you.

One of my favorite stories from this cancer time was we didn't know if I would make it. It was a very aggressive cancer. As I said, it grew from four centimeters to 10 centimeters in three weeks, and there were many times that I would lay there and I would say to him, "Tell me how it goes." And the first time I said that, he said, "What do you mean?" I said, "I want you to tell me the story of how we get through this." And he would sit there and he would say, "Well, first off, you're going to have your surgery and there's not going to be any cancer there. You're going to totally get your PCR. And then after that, you're going to go through radiation, which is going to zap any cancer from ever coming back. And your hair is going to grow back, it's going to be beautiful, you're going to get healthy. Our daughter is going to tell the story about her mom's surviving cancer," And he would just spin this whole future narrative about how everything was going to be okay.

And I can't tell you how many times I would sit there and say, "I need you to tell me how it goes." And he would say, "Okay. So now you've had your surgery and we know," and he would just update that story every time we got good news and keep spinning it. So thank you, my love. I wouldn't have been able to do this without you. I don't know how I'm going to get through this episode today. These are happy tears though, you guys.

My daughter, she was only five, but boy, she was so brave when Kevin and I shaved our hair, he shaved it too ... You know, that whole thing, to shave it for the person that you love. My daughter, who's five, still pretty fashion conscious at that age, didn't want to shave her head, but she cut it really, really short. And she was so brave and so strong during this whole time, and I'm sure she was very scared, and she was the reason primarily, I love you Kevin, but she was the reason that I was set to make sure that I got out of this. So I want to just take a moment to acknowledge her strength and her bravery. She's now 11. She just turned 11 last month, just about a couple of weeks ago, and so we're all happy, healthy and thriving.

I want to thank my friends and my coworkers at the time. There are people who were tangentially, is that the word? Friends that came out of the woodwork, and on the negative side, there were people I totally thought would be there that faded away, and anyone who's gone through cancer has the same story, unfortunately. I think people just don't know what to do around those of us who've been diagnosed with such a serious illness. And I've now gotten to the point where I'm forgiving and compassionate of that, but I do want to point out the friends that really stepped up during that time. Linda Tomasi looking at you. And not that Linda and I were tangential friends, but we definitely became much closer, and she was absolutely there for me during this very harrowing time, bringing me food, sending me totally inappropriate cards, which were amazing, and I love you, Linda, if you're listening to this.

I'd be remiss if I did not thank the original three coaches in the H2H crew, Coach June, Coach Jody and Coach Cydia. The three of them, June being the first, stepped up immediately, starting in January, January of 2021. They were all members at that time, but they said, "We can help." And they taught the crew for years, but especially that first year, without pay, without asking for anything in return, and they made the crew into what it is today. And I would not be here if it wasn't for those beautiful, beautiful people with their friendship, first of all, but their skills and their just lending their time and their love to me and to the crew.

And really, the crew, you guys, you guys, you saw me through. Those of you who are in the crew, you saw me through. You were there through all the crazy wigs that I would wear on the different phone calls or Zoom calls, and you were there sending me things, giving me just the will to live honestly. Seeing your faces on Zoom through that crazy time kept me going and I can't thank you enough. And to those of you who are my fans, maybe you've not been in the crew or even worked with me personally, but you listen to this podcast. All my ladies of NJA.

NJA, the Embrace Your Inner Badass seminar that I started with NJA, with Randy McGinn and Dorothy Clay Sims, they asked what they could do because I couldn't go that first year, of course, after being diagnosed. And my assistant at the time said that we had an Amazon wishlist that she had put together for me, and y'all, those ladies cleared that out. There wasn't a damn thing left on that, and there were boxes coming for weeks of books and coloring books and scarves and heads ... All kinds of things. You ladies, you carried me through, and to all my listeners, I cannot thank you enough for seeing me through this.

I know many of you have checked up on me throughout the years. You've sent me notes and messages and cards, and I just can't tell you how much it has meant to me to be able to be here through the last five years sharing with you, building this with you. I wouldn't be here on this podcast without the millions of listeners that we now have, without you. And so I just wanted to take an opportunity, one, to celebrate this big, huge moment in my life personally, but it would not be the same if it wasn't for you because y'all saw me through, and I believe that I'm here because of all of you. Thanks for letting me share this journey with you, the ups and the downs and the weird wigs and the sometimes TMI, like shitting my pants that you probably didn't want to know about, but I'm telling you about it anyway. Thank you, thank you, thank you.

So here is to the remaining time I have left on this Earth, which I hope is a very, very long time, but today is a particularly special day that I could not pass without sharing it with all of you. So there's your update. Happy Cancerversary to me, and to any of you who are now facing cancer, either yourself or your loved ones, do know that there is hope. There's always hope, and that you hopefully, we never have guarantees, will see the end of whatever you're going through and that I'm holding you in my heart today and always. All right, talk to you next week.

Thank you for listening to the very end of this episode, A+. I'm going to ask you to subscribe to the podcast. Whether you're one of the weirdos that like to watch it on YouTube or you just listen, make sure you hit that subscribe button. It helps the podcast grow and let other people find me, y'all. But don't stop there. Be sure to leave me a five star review on Apple Podcasts or wherever you listen. We want this podcast to reach as many ears and eyes as possible. Thanks again for listening and we'll see you next time. Bye-bye, everybody.